A Very Long Journey

I learned in one of my grief devotionals that grief is a journey. You must go through grief and cannot go around it. Healing will not come from avoiding it but continuing on the journey.

There have been many journeys in my life. My daughter, son-in-law, and 2 grandchildren left on a journey today. They are currently on a plane flying across the ocean to Germany for a 2-week Let's Start Talking mission trip. The preparations for their journey started month ago. So many details must be taken care of to embark on a journey on that magnitude. Passports had to be obtained or renewed. Money had to be raised. And then there was the packing--wow, what an undertaking. What do you need and what can you leave behind? When the suitcases were weighed and one found over the limit, decisions were made of what could be left at home or carried on. Now the actual journey is underway. They are on an 8-hour flight from Houston to Frankfurt, Germany where they will catch a train for the remaining travel to Cologne where their mission campaign will be held.

How did I prepare for this journey of grief I have asked myself. I started by meeting Jerry when I was 20 years old and attending Oklahoma Christian College. Jerry was also a student there but older than myself by 5.5 years. I saw in Jerry so many qualities I wanted for a husband and father to my future children. We started dating and quickly discovered we shared so many common goals. Our main goal we shared was to live our lives serving God. We fell in love and planned our wedding.

The next part of my planning to grieve was the 50 years we spent married. We shared joys, sadness, success, failure, children and grandchildren. We had conflicts but also were committed to our relationship continuing through our lives together. Then during the climax of our marriage, we shared the "in sickness and in health" part of our vows. During our 22 months at the end, my grieving started. Because of Jerry's mental state, I am not sure he grieved the loss of our life together although he shared he was afraid to leave me alone here.

There would have been no need to grieve had I not loved Jerry with all my heart and spent the majority of my life with him.Yes, grief is a direct result of love. As I continue on my grief journey, I try to remember each day how blessed I was to love this man and have him love me in return. I am thankful for my grief because it means I shared a love worth the grief!

Psalm 147:3 - "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." I am not on the journey alone! God is with me every step of the journey now and in the future. This is a journey I believe will go on for the rest of my life here. Healing will come but the grieving will be a part of my remembering my sweetie. I am thankful I have a reason to grieve!