Sacred Tears

Here is a quote I found during the caregiving days:

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messenger of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." Washington Irving

That says a lot. May our society completely get past the notion that men and boys don't cry and let the experience the healing that can come through the tears. It shows love and not just sadness. It is a way of releasing emotions of healing.

Yesterday I attended the funeral of one of the elders at the church we used to attend. His wife lost her 7-year battle with cancer last week. I feel an immediate bond with someone who loses a spouse, but it is difficult to attend those funerals. I attended visitation and his comment to me was, "I thought I was ready after 7 years." Nope, I was ready with all the arrangements to be made, ready to take over the household maintenance, ready to maintain the garden, but never ready to say that final goodbye!

This week has been one of lots of writing on my book. Because of that, it has also been a week of many tears. Rereading my journal, reliving the days of the stroke, remembering the struggles and the good times with my husband make me shed lots of tears. It is also a healing time to be able to attempt to put those memories in the book and take from them what I learned to move forward with my life.

Judges 4 tells the story of Deborah, the female judge. In verse 14, it says, "Then Deborah said to Barak, “Go! This is the day the Lord has given Sisera into your hands. Has not the Lord gone ahead of you?” So Barak went down Mount Tabor, with ten thousand men following him." I love the way Deborah encouraged Barak to go to battle. She told Barak God had already gotten to the battle and prepared the way for you to go and take the victory. 

God is now going before me in my grieving preparing the way, allowing for tears to flow when needed, and giving me lot of opportunities to share with others. Helping others helps me through the process. The new widower and I were sharing about the stages of grief. Many actually don't hold to that theory any longer. But he said, having stages would mean you would get through all the stages and then be done with the process. There is no end to grieving process--it will go through stages but it is permanent.

Today I am thankful for:

1. Beautiful cool fall weather today.
2. My neighbor with 2 heart stents put in Wednesday home today and feeling good.
3. A good walk this morning with Kelly Ann.
4. Lynn having a successful choir retreat the last 2 days.
5. Sweet time on Thursday with the 10-month old twin boys I help with.
6. Getting several of Jerry's drawings framed and now ready to hang. I included one below. 
7. Wonderful progress this week on my book.
8. Precious memories of Jerry.
9. Tears of strength this week.
10. God going before me to prepare the way before I arrive.